Quite frankly I don’t know. For me my normality is sitting in my half finished house worrying about everything. Currently my number one biggest worry, which most of my other worries are based around, is being pregnant. My second biggest worry is my job (goodness knows how I haven’t shriveled into a emotional drained shrub). Thirdly Money (who isn’t worried about money really) and finally am I going to get the black lung from the damp in the back room.
My house isn’t that bad but it has areas that i’m suspicious haven’t been updated since at least 1960. Me and my husband moved into our house in January 2011, and to be fair to us it was originally like living in a old tent; there were holes in the walls and under the single pane windows, there was no central heating! (blimey) and there was damp everywhere. I actually remember having valentines day dinner with my puffer jacket, hat, scarf and gloves on, remarking how wonderful it was to be a first time buyer. Since then luckily we have somehow managed to occasionally put money together to improve our living situation, we now have double glazing, central heating and a lot less pissing woodchip wall paper. However it is far from finished and we have a hell of a lot of work to do before our child arrives.
Being pregnant is a worry for me in a much different way (or not so depending on who you speak to) to most people. I’m not worried about what gender i’m having (though we found out its maybe a girl last Wednesday). I’m not worried that I will be a rubbish mum (though i’m i will worry about this at some point). In actual fact I don’t really know what other people worry about when they are pregnant. Personally I worry that I will wake up and have lost my second child. I don’t feel ready to buy baby things, I allow myself occasionally to get excited but quickly remind myself it might go wrong, I might not have a baby at the end. An unfortunate by product of losing a baby. I was 18 weeks pregnant in February of this year, when out of nowhere I was no longer pregnant. A huge shock to my system. I try not to worry, it’s easy for people to say don’t worry but that’s not how it works, if it worked like that it would be easy. I did try to blog in the past but losing a baby was hard to write about and I imagine it was also hard to read about. Because of the problems I had last time I was pregnant, my manager at work has made it a lot easier on me however work still worries me.
Work worries me but only because I am a nurse (proud of being a nurse and very proud of the NHS) If I didn’t worry about work then life would be fantastic but probably very dull. I have been a registered nurse for 3 years now (which really isn’t very long) and I certainly don’t know what that weird thing on your foot is, why you have a weird pain in your hip when you fart or the answers to any of the other general weird things I’ve been asked “because i’m a nurse”. Now don’t get me wrong I know a fair few things, but mainly surrounding the brain and lungs as these are or have been my work areas. Generally I find myself giving the best advice I can, which is your should probably see your GP about that one.
So I guess that’s my normal currently.