Today I feel like my boobs reach my feet. I have breastfed all night long, after pumping, because I was tricked into thinking we had managed to get her to bed earlier. Last night we all got next to no sleep, thanks to the wind left behind by Ophelia. We were awake at least every hour; I just gave up sleeping at all in the end. My husband managed to get some sleep, which is good for him.
I am so tired I made the mistake of leaving my boob out in situations where you shouldn’t have your boob out, twice. First when ordering Chinese, the poor delivery man didn’t even say anything, he just kind of got on with his job. It wasn’t until I got back in the house that my husband looked at me and said “Nip slip.” Fab. The second time was actually quite useful. I had just fed Joanie to sleep. She was still on the boob , but this was looking like a successful nap. Somebody knocked at the door. Know I don’t know about you, but when somebody knocks at the door my dog thinks its his job to alert the household, obviously in case we are all deaf. This resulted in a failed nap and a really annoyed, tired mum. I answered the door, it happened to be a door to door sales man. (I’m one of those people with a passive aggressive note in my door window telling sales men to go away) Well he took one look at me and said, ‘Ok see you later’ and literally pelted it off my drive. Win. hopefully he wont be coming back.
Its really made me think about breastfeeding as a whole. Its not the first time I’ve felt a bit ‘fed up,’ shes recently also started biting; lucky for me she has no teeth yet. We are having daily paddies about feeding especially around mid day. I have persevered with this last fortnight was the worst, she was going through a growth spurt (or leap) and was feeding on and off waking all night again and wanting to play not feed. I think to be honest it is that she is teething properly now (after discussing it with other mums I know) She has a few little ‘buds’ hanging around in her mouth, so i’m hoping they will come through soon, though i’m anticipating it getting worse if that is the case.
I was considering giving up, if i’m honest, but I have this niggling voice in the back of my mind saying don’t. I have been through an awful lot to get where I am currently with breastfeeding, I don’t want to give up, but at the same time I am tired and have had a bit of a rubbish few weeks. I don’t want my poor mood to reflect on my relationship with her. Any suggestions would be incredibly useful to me. Currently I’m going to see how it goes if it gets worse I think I will stop, especially as she takes a bottle with no issues at all! She can even chew on the end of the bottle without a shout from me!