Why sometimes I just can’t be arsed to go out.

“The fair is here, do you want to go?” 

No. Not really is my reply to that, but you know every year I force myself up to that damn fair. And why? Well to be honest I’ve been asking that a lot lately. The reason I go to the fair is because it’s something I have done every year since I was born, I feel the need to go because, I feel I might miss something? It’s bizarre really and I do it with a lot of things. I insist on going to a lot of things for traditions sake or because I feel I am expected to. I don’t want Joanie to miss out. I think she enjoyed it, but I could have given her the same effect In my lounge with some Christmas lights.

As a new mum.

I felt the need to get out of the house, sometimes when I was exhausted, because, well I didn’t want people to think I was lazy. It’s just ridiculous now to think about, to be honest I think I have suffered a bit with PND. Maybe more my anxiety than anything else. I think sometimes I’m trying to prove something to others, but what? I wish I had just giv myself sometime to adjust! I stressed myself out so often it was ridiculous! I forced myself to baby groups, to go on walks everyday. The worst was I allowed so many visitors the first two weeks! I wish I had said no and just had me and my husband with Joanie, because nobody was bothered after that! 

Things I would say to a new mum

– Don’t put pressure on yourself, its hard enough as it is!

– Paternity leave is precious, spend as much time focussing on your new family as you can.

– If you don’t want visitors them first few weeks, stick to it. They will forget you won’t. 

– Don’t go out if you don’t want to, nobody actually cares. 

– It doesn’t matter if you miss a tradition, nobody will remember in a few weeks. 

– Be kind to yourself 

As a mum of a six month old. 

I still feel the need to prove myself sometimes. I’m at the stage now where I feel people will think my baby is too old for me to feel tired. Well I am. People will forget I occasionally say no. We said no tonight, shortening a potentially lengthy evening down to half an hour. I am proud of us for that. I can’t believe it has taken six’s months to learn how to say no.  

Love Kate x