Last Friday I went back to work for the first time, it was a KIT day, i’m not done on my maternity leave yet; I have mixed feelings about that particular subject. I generally get up early every morning now (early for me being seven-AM, I know, I am lucky) on the odd occasion I do get a bit longer, I have figured out that she will nap with me while having her morning feed in bed. Co-sleeping, a whole other basket of eggs!
My point being I will now be getting up even earlier (when I am back at work) and i’m not sure how I will manage this change in my routine, or for that matter how Joanie will manage this. I have to be at work for seven in the morning usually (I didn’t have to on my KIT day, as it was mainly training), therefore I have to get up at least at 5:30 as of when I get back to work. That leaves half hour to feed Joanie (I plan on breastfeeding till she is at least one) then about half hour to have breakfast and get ready myself; I really cant manage any earlier than 5:30, I just am not a early bird at all. I am also not a night owl either. I am a forever asleep parakeet (I just really like parakeets, and it rhymes). I know it sounds lazy, but I love sleep and when you work 12 1/2 hour shifts you need all of your concentration. Plus I can get ready fast, I do sometimes skip breakfast in place of a snack bar, but I eat later at ten anyway.
My day went pretty well, I felt like I was able to easily slip back into my role; I even felt that I may finally want a higher position when I get back, after speaking to my manager. I easily understood my training and I would suggest to anybody, doing your mandatory training as a KIT day, a month or so before you go back to work, definitely helps you get back into it. I sorted out all my holidays for next year, and I sorted out my return to work too, so i got a lot done. On top of that my practice development lead found me a lovely place to express and even sorted me out a fridge, so I have a room and fridge when I get back, perfect. So on one level I am kind of excited about going back to work. I’m not going to lie, it was really nice to have some adult conversation and not be my daughters sole carer all day for once. That sounds really bitter, i’m not, I love my daughter, I love looking after her, but I am still me, I was somebody before I had a baby. My job was a part of me, I plan on bringing my baby into my lifestyle and compromising, That has been how it is so far, that’s how I would like it to continue.
But at the same time, I have watched my colleagues miss out on so much. They have missed out on: Christmas,Birthdays, Holidays, school plays, milestones and so much much more. As much as my job is an integral part of who I am, so is my family, you only have one life I don’t want to miss out on all these things I just wont get back. There may be ways to reduce this as much as possible but, I think this is the issue with any working parent, you do miss things and its hard not too.
I’m still so caught up in this dilemma, I have considered moving jobs, but the job I was considering (although pays more) would bore me, as much as I try to dress it up and make it look good. Plus I would miss my current work. I would stop myself progressing in my job, I have been put back once, I don’t want to be put back again.
If anybody figures these issues out please let me know, I will be giving myself a headache until I find a really good compromise. If I find out how to do that I will let you know.